stay wit me plz...

i went to the hospital..

i've seen to much that makes me wonder how lucky i am to be here now n still writing my blog indeed..s.i.g.h.

i went to the intensive care unit..i saw lots of wire connected to lots of syringe all over a body wit dopamine, adrenaline, morphine, sodium chloride n many things that i cant recall..not to mention bout the blood bag, the blood stain on the blanket and the iodine stains on the skin..it scares me. it scares me like a lot.

i've seen a family praying with full of hope outside the intensive care unit(ICU) wit tears running down their red cheeks, i've seen a man shouting out loud when his wife passed away, i've seen the face of the innocent children who actually did not understand what really happened at that time..i've seen a couple of young parents crying over their baby..i juz..s.i.g.h it's jz too much..

frgt to mention..i went there to visit firdaus's mum..firdaus's mum just fine.. Alhamdulillah..
mumu no need to worry too much..!!ur mum jz fine!!OK?all she need is u to come back here..i noe u cant..but can u jz come back here for like 2 days..u dont have class for saturday n sunday rite?i've tried to text u n say this but i jz cant.. im so sorry..

i care because i've been in exactly the same situation as yours last year..i really2 want to clear this thing out of my mind but i jz cant do it..seeing ur mother lying down on the same bed as my father last year really made me cry..

recall back: June 2007
im sitting for my English in Science n Technology(EST) Trial Exam. I called my dad to pick me up at school around 1 o'clock..then i told him that i really want the "spiderman" ice cream coz sumaiyah has been talking bout that ice cream like all day long..then my dad agree to bring me out for ice cream..we shared our ice cream. we arrived home around 2 p.m. then i went to my room to sleep..my dad seems tired n went to sleep in his own room..after a while i heard my eldest brother shouted out loud calling my mum..i woke up n open the door to see what's really happening..all i see my dad lying down on the floor breathless..i was so panicked..my dad jz collapsed. i saw my mum tried to do the so-called CPR thingy..n hit on my father's chest..i saw my 'abg' holding my dad..i saw oden standing silently..i jz cried n grabbed my phone to call the ambulance..it took me 5 minute to call but i jz cant get through..n all of a sudden my dad cough..n open his small eyes..after a while of relieved, we decided to bring dad to the nearest clinic coz what we tot was my dad jz experience hypoglycaemia(low blood glucose)..but everything change when we arrived the hospital as we've been told that my dad had a heart attack actually. luckily that we brought him early to the hospital coz my dad keeps on avoiding the idea of going to the hospital..n this is one thing that really irritates me!!to all orang2 tua out there n hu is going to be the 'orang2 tua' as well..plz n plz..let the doctor examine u..they noe what's the best for u!!!im not being rude but try to understand wat i am trying to deliver now!!OK?=_='(dad read thiss!!!!) my dad was admitted. all i know was the doctor trying their best to make a new path for the circulation of blood..coz the original path are said to be blocked. im scared, shocked, panicked, sad, upset n im hurt. i didnt even attend my trial exam last year..

n this is wat happened today.visiting firdaus's mum really brings all the memories back to me. the memory that ppl can see but they cant feel it. the memory that really2 made me scared to live in this world..

ALL I WANT IS EVERYBODY TO STAY WIT ME..PLZ DON GO..I LOVE MY FAMILY N FRENS..DON EVER TAKE THEM FROM ME..JZ TAKE ME AWAY PERHAPS..

i've tried to accept birth and death but i still worry bout wat lies between..s.i.g.h

excuse my imperfection..ignore the mistakes of my grammar..

last but certainly not least, plz n plz pray for me..=)may god bless u n i love u wit all my heart!!